Chapter Text
Yeah, last chapter was inconsistent since Caboose had some well-fixed dialogue moments. I’ll take accountability for that. Heard ‘Full Moon’ is released. Not going to watch is yet as I need to focus on the basis of this story. Yet.
Also, I want to give credit to ZsewqTheWolf in AO3 as his comment gave me an idea.
Now, let’s get onto the chapter.
Caboose’s Guide to make Friends in Hell
Guide Seven
A Day at the Theme park
Premise: I spent the day at the theme park with two birdies of the Quida Clam!
Outside of a burgundy-coloured mansion, two bird-like demons stood near the entrance. They were clearly father and daughter and seemed to be awaiting their pickup to arrive. The former appeared rather excited about the day he had planned. “Aren’t you excited, Via?” Stolas asked.
Octavia only groaned as she pulled the top of her beanie to cover her eyes. The older Goetia took that response very well. “I see. Well, we just have to wait for any minute before they—”
The van arrived as he was about to finish his sentence. Stolas immediately knew that his bodyguards had arrived as the window rolled down to reveal a certain imp. “Ah, right on time, Blitzy!” Again, his daughter groaned at his flirtatious attitude.
“Sorry if we took a bit longer than usual.” Blitzø apologized as he nodded at the back to command one of his employees to exit the van.
Moxxie, professionally dressed as a bodyguard, stepped off the van and opened the doors to allow the two goalies to sit. “Sir! Madam!” He kindly gestured to the two to enter.
As they did, the two sat on the chairs and were ready to go. However, Stolas felt a rather strange presence within the vicinity. He turned his head to the back and saw a blue soldier sitting in the backseat, just staring at him. “Hello there!” Caboose greeted him kindly.
“Oh…” The Older Goetia was surprised to see an individual among this group of imps. He immediately turned to where Blitzø sat. “Blitzy, you never told me you had a new member.”
The leader of IMP let out a groan. He was bound to tell Stolas as soon as he saw him. “Right, Stolas, Octavia, this is Caboose. Caboose, this is Stolas and Octavia.”
“I know, Bing.” The blue idiot bobbled his head underneath his helmet before he looked at the two Goetias. “It’s nice to meet you, Stallas and Olivia.” Octavia only pulled her beanie down to cover her eyes. She was not in the mood to even speak to this new person who seemed to be a complete idiot.
“It’s actually Stolas and Octavia.” Stolas corrected him.
“That’s what I said, Stallas and Olivia”, Caboose spoke, completely butchering their names again.
The Older Goetia just let out a sigh. Sonner or later, he is bound to get their names right. Right now, there was something that needs to be addressed. “Um, Blitzy. Are you he is allowed to come? You know… he… is a Sinner?” He had a suspicion that the blue armoured man isn’t either of those but won’t voice it out just yet.
“I told him that. He keeps insisting that he still wanted to come with us because his armour covers him. But I guess it won’t matter, right?” Blitzø clarified. Seeing as they everyone is at the van; it was now the perfect time to head to their destination. “Buckle up folks, we’re heading to Loo Loo Land!” Caboose loudly cheered childishly, which caused most of them to cover their ears.
Blitzø hit the gas engine and the van immediately went forward towards their destination. However, immediately after a second went by… “Are we there yet?” Caboose innocently asked.
“SHUT UP!”
-Scene Change-
Hours went by and the group had finally arrived at Loo Loo Land, which is located in the Greed Ring, and layers away from the Pride Ring. Caboose took a few steps in the theme park and marvelled at it. Even if it’s really run down and how the sky is green compared to the red one back at the Hotel. “Oh my God! This is the best theme park ever! Now, I want a theme park for our base! I do hope Donut doesn’t burn it down.” He shouted, remembering that time he and the rest of the Reds and Blue, built a Water Park after getting enough funds from their Hollywood film.
It seems as though he was paying attention to his surroundings. He looked at his sides to see Stolas flirting with Blitzø, in the dismay of his daughter Octavia, and Moxxie and Millie in being a couple who is having their date. “Um…guys…what am I meant to do?” He called out to the group, who seemed to ignore him. He was about to cry out to them when he heard Moxxie scream.
And why did he scream?
It’s mainly because a poorly made apple mascot costume had spooked him. “I'm Loo Loo! Welcome to Loo Loo Land! If y'all get hurt here, justtryand sue us!”
Stolas, who had an apple hat, immediately gasped to what he saw. He levelled at his daughter’s height. “Look! Via! It's Loo Loo!”
Speaking of the girl, he raised a hand up. “I have a question.”
Loo Loo turned to face Octavia. “Well, ask away, little girlie! A-hyuk a-hyuk a-hyuk!”
“Oh, wow. That’s horrible acting,” Caboose uttered underneath his breath.
Octavia place her hands on her hips as she leaned in a bit. “Is it true this park is just a really shameless spin-off of Lucifer's far more popular Lu Lu World?” She asked with a rather sarcastic tone.
Almost instantly, the theme Park’s Mascot dropped his act in a beat. “No.”
“This placereeksof insecure corporate shame.” The Goetia Heiress spoke with upmost disgust.
Caboose heard about this and thought to give his own words. “Well knock off would become name brands over time, Olivia. Just look at Oreo, which is just a blatant knock-off to Hydrox.” Again, no one gave him a response. Seeing how they are ignoring; he decides to go on the horse ride. “Time for some fun, then?”
While this was happening, Stolas just only laughed and grabbed his daughter by the hand. “Why don't we go check out the rides?” With that, he leads his daughter away.
“That chick's creepy, huh?” Loo Loo commented as he was creeped out by this comment.
“Eh, wait till her dad tries to diddle your holes.” Blitzø informed him before walking away.
This caused the mascot to look at Millie and Moxxie. “What's that mean?”
“Don’t talk to me!” The latter hissed rather aggressively. “I know you're a pervert under there!”
He then leaves with his wife, which leaves Loo Loo handing as his body dejects. “Yeah.” In a matter of seconds, a burst of green fire happened. He turned around to see the entire Carousel being set on fire. “Now, how did that happen?!”
“Not my fault!” He turned to the blue armoured man, who was playing to be innocent and shouted. “Not my fault! It suddenly caught on fire as the ride was about to begin!” After saying that, he then proceeds to meet up with the others.
-Scene Change-
Once Caboose ran far from the Carousel, saw the three IMP talking among themselves while Stolas was bonding with his daughter in the background. They seemed to spit up once again and the couple immediately saw him. “There you are, Caboose!” Millie greeted him.
“Hello, Killie! How are things?” He asked.
“Blitz allowed us to have a bit of fun!” The female imp was refereeing to herself and her husband. “How about you join us, Caboose!?”
Moxxie was rather doubtful of his wife’s words. “Uh, are you sure he can join us? No means to offend him, but I just heard an explosion earlier.”
Caboose was oblivious to the action he recently did. “You wife is right, Roxy! It would be better with you guys rather than being alone in Boo Boo Lab.”
“It’s Loo Loo land,” The male imp corrected him.
“That as well,” Caboose added, making his teammate wanting to facepalm at his stupidity. “So, where are you guys planning to go?”
“How about we go to my favourite ride!” Millie suggested with enthusiasm.
This causes Moxxie to look at his wife. “Oh, yeah? Wh—which one?”
Not so far, a roller coaster ride named ‘The Lawsuit’ is seen where a lone imp is riding alone as it suddenly plunges off a sheer 90-degree drop at incredible speed. It was also on fire and with its rider hanging on for dear life.
Moxxie could only watch in terror as he was carried by his wife while Caboose was walking by their side. “Oh,crumbs!”
…
…
…
The trio watched as the entire roller coaster was set ablaze in green flames while onlookers and a dragon-like creature nearby glared at a certain individual that cause it to happen. This caused the sane imp to utter in disbelief. “Ca…boose, how… the f*ck did you set it on fire by simple sitting on that Roller Coaster for just a second?!”
“Well, that tends to happens whenever I am near vehicles.” Caboose answered while feeling quite nervous to the ruckus he caused.
Millie just giggled. “So…you wanna try the game booths now? I’m sure it would bring both of your minds away from this.”
-Scene Change-
Sure enough, Caboose and the couple walk along a row of game booths when they are addressed by one of the vendors. "Hello, hello!" The Carnie Imp greeted them. "Step right up and win athing!"
Millie looked at the booth and gasped when she looked at a specific item. "Oh, look, Moxxie! ATHING!" It turns out it's some sort of purple stuffed penguin creature with Imp horns and wearing pink overalls. The stuffed animal is labelled with a tag that says "THING?"
"Oh, you like that thing?" He asked his wife.
"YEEEEESSS! I don't know what that is, but I want thatthing!" She responded obnoxiously.
"Ahhh... Finally, something I can handle." He said, feeling smug about this game. He then takes out some money and hands it to the Carnie. "Okay! One game, puh-lease!"
The Carnie Imp JUST rolls his eyes while he uses his tail to hand Moxxie a pistol with a cork projectile in the muzzle. The individual does not even line up the shot. Instead, he looks towards his wife as he effortlessly hits the target right in the bullseye. However, Caboose saw that the target had barely moved.
Once that was over, the other Imp looked at the Carnie Imp with "scepticism" despite his marksmanship skill. "Ohhhh! Strike one, little man!"
This caused Moxxier to be taken aback by this. "But I hit it!"
"Hmmm, I don't know what to tell ya, buddy. The target, see? It didn't go down. So, yeah...! No, go, bro." The Carnie spoke with a hidden smugness.
This causes the younger Imp to growl in anger. He was about to place another bill in when Caboose beat him. "Can I please have a go?"
The Carnie imp looked at him. Just hearing the tone of his voice caused him to have a little smile. "Sure. Just shoot this target with this gun!" He uses his tail again to place it onto the idiot's hands.
"OKAY!" Caboose yelled as he pointed the gun at the target before firing it. To his luck or whatever, he was able to knock it down, much to the dismay of the Carnie Imp. He lowered the gun down. "Um, it wasn't supposed to go down, was it?"
This hurt the Marksman’s pride. “How the Hell did he do that successfully!?”
He only chuckled at his words. "W-Well, I say, you are one lucky sonovabitch!" In all honesty, he was mad that he could knock it down despite rigging it. "Now, you can pick a prize from these varieties!"
"Um…" The idiot was looking at the prizes that interested him. Seeing how many varieties there are, he wasn't sure which one. This made him look over to Moxxie and Millie. "Roxy and Killie. Would you two mind choosing a prize for me? There's much to choose from, and I must go to the bathroom. Like, right now."
"Sure, Caboose," Millie assured him. "And please don't do anything stupid while you're alone."
"Okay." With that, Caboose went to where the bathroom stalls were. He was totally unaware that a large tent he passed engulfed him in green flames.
-Scene Change-
Caboose was washing his hands after he was able to find a bathroom and relieved himself. Once he finished cleaning his hands, he flicked them to dry it. "Now that was a perfect one." He commented to himself before exiting it. As he did, he saw that it was beginning to be nighttime. He knew he could only go to one more attraction even though flames were everywhere. "Now, where should I go…"
The idiot scanned around before his eyes landed on one called "Fun House". He eventually noticed that Octavia ran inside and came to a clear conclusion about where to go. He immediately ran towards the funhouse for one last ride of the day.
Literally, five seconds after he entered, he finished most of the courses within the funhouse. Now, he was starting to get bored. He was in one of the apple-themed rail cars spinning in circles. "That was so boring." He spoke while echoing the last word.
He suddenly heard someone crying, which caught his attention. Her was about to leave the rail car and find the source of it before he saw Stolas sitting at the rail car in front of him. "I take it you are... not having fun." He heard the Older Goetia ask the person who was crying.
"I didn't even want to come here!" That voice belongs to Octavia.
"I'm sorry, sweetie." Stolas apologized with remorse. "I... I thought you loved it here."
"When I was a kid, and my parents didn't hate each other..."The daughtered reminding him while sniffling. "and my dad didn't flirt with some... weird red dickhe*d the entire time." Caboose recognized she was referring to Blitzø in the last bit.
"I'm sorry, Via. I'm sorry for... everything... happening right now." Stolas apologized once again. "I know it's... a lot. I, uh-- I should have listened."
Caboose continued to hear the conversation as Octavia began to cry again. "I just want to go home... but home doesn't even feel like home anymore... You ruined it."
"You need to understand... your mother and I... I just-... I felt-... She's always been... I haven't been- Ha-... We weren't in..." Stolas tried to answer without sounding hurtful. "I'm sorry, I- I- I don't have the words."
The idiot could only listen to the conversation between the father and daughter. Right now, he was only experiencing an "angst" moment when he remembered Donut's Multitude of Fanfictions. Speaking of which… "Are you gonna run off with him? And leave me behind?" Octavia questioned her father while crying. "Go away where... I can't find you?"
"What? No! No, no,never. I'd never do that.Never." Stolas empathetically responded. "I think it's time to leave this place. You were right. You are too old for it, anyway."
"Aww!" Caboose could only utter as he then sees Stolas carrying his daughter towards the exit. Feeling as though he had enough fun, he proceeded to join up to them.
As the father and daughter duo made their way to the exit, an Imp grins maniacally in the space above the drop-ceiling, looking down on the older Goetia. The Imp drops down and flicks open a switchblade. Before anything could happen, a shot was fired, which made Stolas turn his head right around to see the Imp on the ground with a bullet hole in its forehead before turning towards Caboose, who held a Pistol with smoke coming out of the barrel. "Um…see, that wasn't my fault."
Stolas just chuckled at the blue armoured man’s words. “It’s alright, blue one. How about you come with us instead?”
Caboose sees no problem with that, “Okay!”
-Scene Change-
Stolas, still carrying Octavia, walked outside the park with Caboose walking by their side. They ignored the carnage around the park as they reached the main gate. "So, what would you like to do now?" Stolas asked his daughter.
"Oh, can we go to Stylish Occult? They sell weird taxidermy there." She replied with an excited tone.
This caused him to be reluctant about her suggestion. Nonetheless, he would be obliged to take her there. "Hmmm, okayyyyy..."
Octavia chuckled back at her father. "Thanks, Dad. You're okay, sometimes."
Stolas smiled sweetly at her. "Thank you, Via. Thank you."
"May I come as well?" Caboose asked them, who were looking at him. "I want to know what this tax-a-thermy is? I hope it isn't about taxes."
Again, Octavia just chuckled at the blue idiot's misunderstanding. "Oh, taxidermy isn't like that, Caboose. They are just stuffed animals that are used for display."
"Stuffed animal?" Now that caught his interest, he looked back at her. "Oh! I would love to get this tax-a-thermy thing! Thanks for your suggestion, Olivia!"
While this heartwarming scene was happening, an explosion occurred behind them. The three employees of I.M.P landed in front of them. All seemed to be covered in smoke, and their clothes were tattered. "Way to ruin another good thing, Sir!" Moxxie scolded his boss.
"Worth it! That slu*tty toy clown had. It.Comin'!" Blitzø could only utter.
"Oh hey, guys!" Caboose greeted them as if he had just seen their arrival. "I'm going with the two-bird people right now. I heard these tax-a-thermies are really neat. Can I go with them?" He has yet to hear a response from either of the three. "Great!" He looked back at Stolas and Octavia. "I can go with you two now! Let's not waste any more time!"
Preview: Sorry, guys! Been busy right now at the beach with Freckles! So… oh no, please don’t sedate me, Miss Pink Lady!?
Yeah, this chapter was short. But I felt as though it needed to stop here. I apologize if there were certain moments you would want to see. For that, I am going to make up for it in the next chapter. Oh boy, you are going to enjoy it!
